Lancing the Bite

I've realized that the more I press into the Lord and start to understand His holiness, I become more acutely aware of my own unholiness (and selfishness and pride and insecurity and...) But the greatest thing about our loving Father is that He won't allow us to sit in our mess, wallowing in the fact that we're dirty.  I once heard a story about a father who had to take his daughter to the hospital because she had a severe spider bite.  They had to leave the lake and the rest of the family during vacation to take care of this growing mass on her leg.  Once the doctor confirmed that the bite was in fact poisonous, they made preparations to lance the area to get all of the infection out.  The father held is daughter's hand and told her that he wouldn't leave her, but he did not stop the doctor from putting a knife to his little girl.  The father knew, despite the daughter's pleading and crying, that the only way to get rid of the poison was to dig in and press the infected area.  He knew there would be pain.  He understood that the daughter would much rather enjoy her vacation time at the lake than in the hospital.  But he also understood that if the area went untreated, it could potentially kill his beloved child.  The more I understand the character of God, the more I appreciate and crave His rebuking.  Over and over again, God shows me areas in my life that need to be lanced.  And the more I press in, the more desperately grateful I am for grace.  Sin left alone starts to affect not just one area of life, but can potentially destroy all joy and intimacy with the Lord.  Our fleshly desire is to cover up sin, stick a spiritual bandaid on top of it, and pretend like we're doing just fine.  But that won't fix the problem any more than a physical bandaid would stop a spider bite from spreading.  My mantra for the past year has been "there is freedom and healing in transparency."  When we honestly seek the Lord and allow Him to expose some dark parts of our heart, He is faithful to restore what has been broken and heal what has been hurt.  He digs in and presses and sometimes the lesson is hard and the process messy, but the result is always restoration.

Into the Desert

As I type that word "Desert," I can't help but notice how close it is to the word "Dessert." I remember my third grade teacher explaining that we only want to see one snake in the desert, but we'd gladly take a second helping of dessert.  (Good 'ole private school done me up right!) As close as those two words are, they could not have more opposite connotations.  With one we imagine dry, sandy nothingness and the other, a sweet, moist confection that will make our pants fit just a tad bit snugger.  One is barren and wanting, the other an excess.  When given the choice, we always would choose the dessert. But what if we need the desert?  Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert, where He faced not only physical discomfort, but Spiritual tempting beyond anything we can imagine.  Was God cruel and unjust by leading His son to such a desolate place?  No.  The desert was necessary to get Jesus away from everything to be alone with His Father.  It was all a part of His plan.  We may want the dessert instead, but too much leaves us sick to our stomach with a roll around our middle.  God has called us to something greater than ourselves.  He desires an absolute reliance on Him.  With the daily comforts of this world easily accessible, we've learned how to "Do Christianity" without God.  We go to church. We learn the lingo.  We "do good things."  But when does the heart transformation really come?  In the desert.  Only when we have a desperation for Him, then He can show just how sufficient He really is in our lives.  That point of desperation is a heady place: it is uncomfortable and requires a faith a lot bigger than our pocketbook.  God is calling me to the desert and I find myself glancing back at what is comfortable and familiar.  I've grown fond of my dessert, but I'm needing the desert.

A Month in Retrospect

Holy cow, I have failed my duties as a blogger!  We've had a full month of absolute craziness and God has been tearing down walls, changing hearts, and planting seeds all over the place!  Last week, our team flew to South Carolina where we joined with some local college players.  We put on a one day clinic and a three day camp with the purpose of coaching volleyball and loving these kids to Jesus.  It has been so cool to see all of our different talents and personalities combine to create an atmosphere where kids learn not only how to better themselves in this sport, but to make their relationship with Christ the center of everything they do.  We also had the opportunity to see where Daniel Rich (the director of this whole shindig) came from and all the people from his hometown who encouraged his vision and loved him through the tough times.

The interns are breaking out of the "honeymoon" phase of the internship and God is doing some radical things in their hearts.  For those of you who have journeyed with me deeply in the past year or so, a phrase that I have often chanted is that, "There is freedom and healing in transparency." Only when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and explore the roots of our insufficiencies, can we truly experience the release from those bondages that we have kept hidden for so long.  It is the hugest blessing to be a part of this transformation and the most raw I've felt in a while.

The girls are at UCLA this week for Sports camp.  A couple of the girls are huddle leaders (they get a group of high school or junior high girls for the entire week and play "Momma") while the other interns are assistant athletic directors (which means they get to drive golf carts and run errands and help the trainers).  It's a totally different role than what they're used to and I am so excited to hear how God moves in and among them.  Please be praying for open, willing hearts.

The Sand Storm

This week has been crazy!  I feel like I say that a lot, but this has been the most exhausting/liberating/frustrating/providential week I  may have ever had.  This was the first of the "routine" weeks (if there is such a thing) and there was nothing routine about what God has been teaching us.  (And by "us" I mean "me.") The girls have been hard at work, planning and organizing for the volleyball camps that are rapidly approaching, training in the gym, and getting touches on the ball on the beach.  We also are hosting high school nights and college nights, where we get professional players to come and speak to volleyball players at a younger level.  Every weekend that we are able, we enter the girls into a sand volleyball tournament so that they can get some experience playing competitively in the sand.  One of the interns was injured, so I filled her spot.  When we showed up to the beach, the winds were absolutely ridiculous and by the semi-finals, it had picked up so badly that it was a small miracle if we could get the ball over the net on a serve.  I can count on one hand the number of actual rallies we were capable of playing.  Needless to say, we were frustrated.  Two teams of twelve-year-olds were in our pool.  (First sting to our ego.)  Then we played them and they had better ball control in the wind. (Strike two.)  And then we find ourselves so agitated by being outplayed by girls half my age, that we shut down.  (Strike three and we were OUT.)   I really learned that there is so much more that God wants to pry out of my heart; pride that hasn't yet died and a temper that needs some serious taming.  We fell completely short of our goal of representing Christ through volleyball and as the "leader," I take full responsibility for not being able to assess the situation and provide guidance to my girls while in the heat of the moment.  This has definitely been a learning week and praise God that He's not finished with me yet.  I still have a lot of dying to do while living here on this earth.

Yosemite!!

This past week has been absolutely amazing!!  We told the interns last Monday morning (the day after most of them had just arrived) that we would be having breakfast with a donor and then going to a workout when in actuality, we had "The Amazing Race" across California ending up in Yosemite National Park!  Starting in Laguna Beach, we traveled north to Crystal Cove, stopped at Beachcombers Cafe, walked among the stars in Hollywood, milked a cow in Bakersfield, and then ended up in the mountains!  We experienced all four seasons in one week!  We started in summer, ran into spring (It was raining the first day of our hike), woke up to snow the next morning (Really! Snow in California in May!!), and then had two crisp, beautiful and sunny days!  The best part of the whole trip was seeing the interns bond and each of them understanding more of who they are in Christ.  I am so excited for what God has in store for us next!  Please pray that we would continue to love and serve one another as we reach out to the volleyball community!

The interns are coming! The interns are coming!

As you may have figured out, the interns are coming!  Three will be here today and three arrive tomorrow. I can't believe it's finally (and already) time to have all the members of our team together!  California this week has been crazy/busy/exciting/fun/amazing!  I have loved getting to know some of the locals and finishing up the details for this summer.  For our very first adventure, we are taking the girls to Yosemite National Park and will be doing our training there for the week.  I've only seen pictures, but it's absolutely breath-taking!  I think it was Francis Chan who said, "You will never stand on top of a mountain and behold all the world below and think, 'Hey, I'm awesome.'"(Very much paraphrased).  When we take time to really see the creation around us and begin to understand the hugeness of our God, there's no way we can keep our eyes on ourselves.  Pray for the leaders to have wisdom in teaching effectively and guard us from error.  Pray for the interns to be open and moldable, allowing the Spirit to transform them.

Welcome to the New FCA Volleyball Blog!!

Howdy! This is the first of what I hope will be many more blogs to come!  My goal is to post a quick update every weekend of what we've seen God doing through FCAVolleyball and give more insight to the faithful prayer warriors of our daily happenings.  I'm writing my very first blog from my parents' couch in Austin, Texas.  My mom and I are preparing to head out to California and in a few short days, I'll be joining the rest of the leadership team: Graeme, Joey, and Daniel.  All of the interns (Alisa, Alyssa, Mary, Mailande, Sam, and Shari) have finished raising their support, are finishing up finals, and saying goodbye to their loved ones!  I can't believe it's finally time to put all the pieces of the puzzle together!  This week, please pray that we will stay focused and "finish well" wherever we are.  For the interns, this mostly means finals and moving.  Two of the interns will be transferring to new schools.  One intern is graduating this spring.  Two are recovering from injuries.  All are facing some pretty big changes and learning to rely on the Lord in a very real way.  Pray that the Lord would show us more of Himself, that we would learn to walk in a way glorifying Him, and love each other well.